LPB

I don't care if it hurts,

I wanna have control.

I want a perfect body.

I want a perfect Soul.

I want you to notice,

When I'm not around.

Your So fucking special.

I wish I was special.

Dead Miss B.

I know your killing me.

But I need you more than ever.

I wrote this on a scrap piece of paper on the bus.

When did life become so physically exhausting? To the point where I no longer have the energy to go anything anymore other than breath?

I never felt more happier than I have in the last couple of days, for no reason. But I soon began to realise I have been living in a false reality for quite some time.

False Lily has as many problems as anyone, but she can deal with them, She's clever like that.

But the girl writing this lacks any kind of control over anything at all. There is no point to live, other than for this false reality That I pray Will be One day, but I know deep down it won't.

I tried to talk to my mum before. I'm so sick of the

"Your Only 19, what do you have to be depressed over?".

I feel back in my glass bubble caged away. The bubble that I can;t break. The buddle that is suffocating me.

D Is killing me.

Keep Strong

Yesterday you KNEW I was doing it.

How can you not hate me?

Why do you still love me?

Write.

Pretend you are her,

Pretend everything is perfect.

Pretend you are happy.

Pretend.

Pretend.

Pretend.

It's not until you feel absolutly exhausted and unable to move that you feel that it's worth it.

Look up to him.

He's thiin.

Be like him.

He used to be your idol...

be just like him <3


Spent the last 2 days lsitening to Fall out Boy and Panic! at the disco.

It's made me feel about 15 again.

When life was simple.

I am 15 inside now.

I love it, please don't take me from this.

I love live this second.

When I was 15 I was sad, but I knew I wanted to get better.

I hadn't lost hope.

I still had it.

I still want it.

Look up to him.

He's thiin.

Be like him.

He used to be your idol...

be just like him <3


Spent the last 2 days lsitening to Fall out Boy and Panic! at the disco.

It's made me feel about 15 again.

When life was simple.

I am 15 inside now.

I love it, please don't take me from this.

I love live this second.

When I was 15 I was sad, but I knew I wanted to get better.

I hadn't lost hope.

I still had it.

I still want it.

I don't care who reads anymore.

I love the ache's I get.

the Nausia.

the dizzyness.

the feeling of total exhaustion.

The feeling like I could just collapse.

I'm fat.

I'm ugly.

I'm horrible.

I don't need help.

I'm not thin.

Are you just here to destroy my life?

You and your friend.

Worming your way back INTO my life.

Fuck off the pair of you.

I hope you live in Misery.

You absolute fucking cunt.

First None depressive blog... Well.. kind of.

Gutted I can't **** *** With these wires on my head!

Feel Like I'm being watched!

Heartache

Sometimes I have heartache.

I have it alot.

I have it now.

But I come to think, I've experience heartbreak.

I came through the other end.

If I can come out of that, I can come out of this.

I am strong.

It's still only January.

Still a good excuse to put the last year behind me.

Such a rubbish year.

This isn;t fair anymore.

I can't handle these wires either.

Very stressful.

Room to tidy up aswell.

Hospital again tommorow.

Town tommorow hopefully...

Or possibly thursday.

Most Boring Blog Ever.

I can't handle it.I can't stop crying.I've been fine..not fine...I've been able to keep partially okay. No. Please stop.This is too horrible.I just want people to care, I want people to know the pain I feel and just tell me they will be there. Please, This isn't fair anymore.I can't do it.I'm alone.No one wants to know me.No future.No Friends.No actual Meaning at all.

Pointless

Everything is pretty pointless.

Breathing.

Walking.

Talking.

Living.

No one notices.

Your nothing special.

it's been lies told for years.

Just wanting to be special.

He doesn't care.

It's going no were.

please, I need to keep going, I can't do this forever. I can't stop, I need to carry on.

"Warrior Woman"

So yet again there is a NEW body shape that is now more superior than others.
Now 'Athletic' is in.
It USED to be 'thin' then it was 'Curves' or is it vice versa?
Who gives the Media the right to tell us what size to be and how to look?
Are we meant to be Size 0 or Size 16?
No wonder so many People suffer from Eating disorders such as Anorexia and Bullimia.
The Media is full of Bullshit.
Confidence Needs to be Promoted, NOT a perfect body shape.
No one has a perfect body shape, I'm pretty sure there are parts of 'perfect body' lady Rhianna has parts of her she hates.
Let's promote Confidence!

Keep strong for another day. It can work. Just keep strong.
You promised yourself one day a week.
Christmas though.
You did enough.
Beside's HE'D Be happier.
He'll only pay attention to someone who's beautiful.
Make yourself beautiful.
I feel guilty because your say by me right now.
So guilty.
I'm just happy your asleep.

Blog of 2011

Job. (Hopefully At Primark)
Start the Gym.
Meet new people.
Get my life Sorted