You were, just always the couple who I Thought would NEVER break up.
Everything seemed so perfect and secure.
How can It have changed overnight? 10 days ago everything was perfect.
"there must have been something there" Well their wasn't.
I feel so completly lost. And sickened.
I love you both. D You have completly broke my heart, but I can;t hate you, It sickens me to think that people will hate you and you'll feel unloved.
M I can't belive this has completly broken you up.
I could scream.
And if someone else says 'aww your 19 you'll get over it', Having a strong bond for nearly 20 years just suddenly broken, won;t be Fine Because of my age.

Help me.

A Quote to make me cry!

"You know, some parents, when they're angry, they get along much better when they don't live together. They don't fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don't, dear. And if they don't, don't blame yourself. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean that they don't love you. There are all sorts of different families. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you poppet, you're going to be alright..."

Sometimes...

Sometimes we can get really depressed. So depressed you can;t get out of bed, that you see no point in going outside, because all we do is exsist.

Perhaps we want ambitions from when we are children, we crave dreams from we are so young and aim to be like that when we grow older.

Maybe we get depressed because we suddenly realise; We won;t get married, We won't be famous, or we won't be rich.

But ther eis always someone out there; be it your parents, your family, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your best friend etc. Perhaps they will do absolutly anything to make your dreams come true. give you a child, get you famous make you rich.

And maybe they can;t do that, and everyday it breaks there heart that little bit more that they can;t make you happy.

But we will never be happy until we learn to be happy with what we are given. If we are unhappy with what we have now, god won't grant us with anything else. By Being happy, you can make someone else happy, I know from the bottom of my heart happiness is far from easy to acheieve, and we sit and complain life isn;t going the way it is, but the second we take things for granted they are ripped from us.

Perfects family, perfect Lover, perfect life. It's just taken.

Be careful.

-Lily.

I may not be beautiful

Or Smart
Or talented.

I may not be the mot funny person, or the most attractive.

But I'm me, and that's something No one can ever be.

Not much to say other than

Panic tommorow!!!

My dream last night was quite a weird one.

 Saddam Huisane was shopping in my town centre, and someone found him, then because they were waiting to kill him, the security guard came over and shot him, but instead of shooting him the gun backfired and shot the guy in the face killing him.
 So because Saddam still wanted to die, a lady in my college who was watching this with me (in peacocks) Brougth out of a plastic bag and suffocated him....
 
Yup, I'm pretty fucked up!

I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay... That's all I need. Someone to see into the future and tell me I'll be okay.

Breakthrough.

Tonight I realised how desperately I want to be loved, and Starving myself and making myself thin isn't going to make a difference.
It's not going to make people suddenly say "wow she's a size 8 I want to be her friend!". I was under this stupid illusion for so long.
I want people to love me, but I can't be loved by others if I can't love myself.

When you hear;

"If you carry on, if this carries on, you WILL die".

It should terrify you.
Infact it probably does terrify people.
But not me.
Because the thought of dying doesn't scare me anymore.
And that's more terrifying that anything.

My First Post of May.

I feel asif I havn;t posted for such a long time. For over a week. And I wish I could post on a more happier note.

But sadly again, it's one of them weeks where I fail to see a point anymore.

Everyone of my idols are telling me that i don;;t deserve to be any better or get any better and to keep carrying on until I can't get back up. Until my legs can't pick me up anymore...

I feel out with a very close friend today. I don't know why, we just fell out.

Pretty horrible when people begin to hate you and you have no idea what you've done other than attempt to help them.

I'm not going to blame her. She's not a bad person for making me feel like this, we all make mistakes and we all hurt people without realising it. So I forgive her.

But I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't hurt.

Because it does.

It's Really does

-lily

I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it, That explains the trouble that I'm always in, Be patient, is very good advice, But the waiting makes me curious, And I'd love the change, Should something strange begin, Well I went along my merry way, And I never stopped to reason, I should have know there'd be a price to pay, Someday...someday, I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it, Will I ever learn to do the things I should? Will I ever learn to do the things I should?