When I first began. I thought, I had control.

But this thing is not controling me.

Everything I do is dictated by this disease.

This thing controls me.

My life has gone out of my hands.

There is nothing this thing, doesn't control.

I'm quite terrified.

But I need it.

I need it to survive.

I know I hurt you. and I'm sorry, I wish I was stronger. I love you with all my heart.